Tuesday, January 01, 2008

HNY

Happy New Year to anyone out there.

It seems a few people still stop by occasionally, though why should they since I never post anymore? Most of the hits I receive seem to come from web searches referencing "mobius" something or quotations from AA or the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous.

Today I am hopeful for the new year. I have a lot of tools I've learned through AA. If and when I'm not happy, joyous and free, it's because I don't choose to make use of those tools. Usually it has something to do with wanting my way. Wanting it right now. And my way usually has to do with feeling good right now. Or at least feeling different. Kind of like why I used to drink. Except thankfully as of today I don't believe a drink will make me feel better at all.

I suppose the big question right now is...is Flip, well, let's try to be a little more direct, am I a sex addict? I really hate needing to ask that question. For a number of reasons. One being that it seems so shameful if it's true. In fact, it seems pretty shameful just to have to ask the question. I also hate needing to ask that question because I'm not even sure if such a thing exists - officially I mean - I do know there are SAA groups out there. On the other hand, I'm not sure if it really matters if such a thing really exists. The behaviors that go into such a definition exist.

Another reason I hate asking that question is because I'm already an addict of the "oholic" sort. I hate the thought of having to conquer yet another addiction...which really means I hate having to give up something that I really don't want to give up. Even if giving it up means long term peace and happiness. Wow, that feels familiar.

So I guess we'll just have to see. But in the meantime I'm eternally grateful to have been given the gift of sobriety. And as long as I stay clean and sober I know there's hope for conquering whatever else stands between me and the person I can be.

Happy New Year to one and all.

Cheers!

Flip

8 comments:

Paul said...

Happy New Year to you too! And best of luck in finding answers to all your questions.

Maybe we need to chat.

Rey Rey said...

Happy New Year, Flip... I hope it turns out to be a great one for you! I wish ya all the strength to keep battling the demons.

Nate said...

Happy New Year Flip

Anthony said...

Happy New year to you. You are an inspiring man.

A Troll At Sea said...

Well, Flippo, we're all here, and we wish you a Happy New Year.

In my own opinion, it will be hard to top 2007, which came on the heels of what was one of the worst years of my life.

So far, at least.

All the best.
T@C

bear said...

Happy New Year!

Long time posting- yeah I know that feeling, my last post was like 1/2 a year ago! Bad bear!

Sex addict...I'm not sure it exists either. I always thought we ARE sexual beings...
I think the sex addiction comes from supression, meaning, I noticed I was more "addicted" to the things I was supressing, once I "let go" (either made a conscious effort to avoid or gave it ;P), it felt the addiction subsided. (Then maybe my theory only applies to me.)
I'm glad you're hanging in there. Sober is good. I always found a sober person to be way more attractive person in general.

A Troll At Sea said...

Flippo:

this is NOT a comment on your post, or on anything else. I've been tagged, and now you're it:

The rules for the meme are:

1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Share six non important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
4. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
5. Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.

This has already taken more time than I would give most people...

Oh well.
Hang in there.
T@C

Java said...

Why do you not write more often?

I came here by way of the Troll, by following the link from a comment you posted on his blog. I haven't read much, just these few posts that are on the first page.

I'm curious about you, your life, your choices, your convictions (not in a legal sense), the whichness of your why.

For a piece of my story, if you are interested, check out http://javajones-mylife.blogspot.com/2008/06/pride.html