HNY

Happy New Year to anyone out there.

It seems a few people still stop by occasionally, though why should they since I never post anymore? Most of the hits I receive seem to come from web searches referencing "mobius" something or quotations from AA or the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous.

Today I am hopeful for the new year. I have a lot of tools I've learned through AA. If and when I'm not happy, joyous and free, it's because I don't choose to make use of those tools. Usually it has something to do with wanting my way. Wanting it right now. And my way usually has to do with feeling good right now. Or at least feeling different. Kind of like why I used to drink. Except thankfully as of today I don't believe a drink will make me feel better at all.

I suppose the big question right now is...is Flip, well, let's try to be a little more direct, am I a sex addict? I really hate needing to ask that question. For a number of reasons. One being that it seems so shameful if it's true. In fact, it seems pretty shameful just to have to ask the question. I also hate needing to ask that question because I'm not even sure if such a thing exists - officially I mean - I do know there are SAA groups out there. On the other hand, I'm not sure if it really matters if such a thing really exists. The behaviors that go into such a definition exist.

Another reason I hate asking that question is because I'm already an addict of the "oholic" sort. I hate the thought of having to conquer yet another addiction...which really means I hate having to give up something that I really don't want to give up. Even if giving it up means long term peace and happiness. Wow, that feels familiar.

So I guess we'll just have to see. But in the meantime I'm eternally grateful to have been given the gift of sobriety. And as long as I stay clean and sober I know there's hope for conquering whatever else stands between me and the person I can be.

Happy New Year to one and all.

Cheers!

Flip