Do NOT call me Joan Rivers.

Ok, I admit, I was half-joking when I suggested being your guest blog host over here. I know some of you read my blog: Southern Expressions. It's usually a lighter take on life and seldom do I get into the intense self-exploration that Flip does here.

At first, you might think that I would be the least likely person to write here in Flip's absence. I'm a mostly open gay guy with a husband. Flip is a self-proclaimed "queer" (I hate that word, but Flip seems to like it.) with a family and struggles with his "bi" issues.

But, we do connect. My dad is gay and lived a closeted existence for the ten years that he was married to my mother. That may be what we talk about the most here in Flip's absence. (I certainly do reserve the right to post different topics as well. Three weeks of thinking and posting on my relationship with dad might get a little depressing for me. Maybe for you as well.)

For now though, I'll just introduce myself to you the same way I did at my blog in January of this year. This was my first post:

I had this to say at "Gay Empire" today following the results of a poll on the relationship that one has had with ones parents. I think it is a good way to get this blog rolling as it reveals a lot about me.

My parents divorced when I was seven. One of the reasons for the divorce was the lack of affection that my dad showed to my mother. He didn't tell her, but he was gay.

In my instance, I do believe I was genetically predisposed to be gay. But, I don't nescessarily believe that
every homosexual is "hard-wired", if you will, from birth. I think sometimes it could be caused by environmental cues. I could buy that. Ones sexuality is so complex that there could be any number of reasons that someone is either "gay" or "straight".

It seems to me, (and as I'm typing this I'm finding myself being very careful not to use the word "case" in a psychological sense) that over-analyzing the so-called causes of ones sexuality only adds fuel to the fire of those that think my lifestyle is abnormal. To me, it is not a choice, and it is far more natural for me to want to be in the company of men (sexually and otherwise) than women. I remember preferring men over women from a very young age.

When I answered the poll question this week, I was thinking that none of the options really describe my relationship with my parents accurately enough. (Not that the Emporer didn't provide plenty of choices, mind you.) So, for lack of a better description, I chose that my father was absent.

After my parents divorced, my mother remarried and I was raised by her and my stepfather. I was never (and still am not) particularly close to my mother. I identified more with my dad from the time I was small. However, my dad found a partner soon after the divorce, moved away, and has devoted the last 25+ years to him. I rarely saw him then, and I rarely see him now. I have friends that think it is great that I have a gay dad and assume that we have a good relationship because we have this in common. Nothing could be further from the truth. He is immersed in his own life, and I suppose I am with mine.

What I'm really getting to is this: I don't think that homosexuality can be boiled down to the results of a poll, and in a way it almost cheapens the complexity and nuances of sexuality in general. There are many factors involved other than merely the relationship that one has with one's parents. To me, rather than trying to determine a cause or cure, let's just celebrate the fact of our sexuality, whatever it may be, and the idea that we can be attracted to and love anyone at all.

To those of you that have read this post before at my blog or at Gay Empire, my apologies to you. This is just a great way to show the good readers where I'm coming from and who I am.

To those of you that I've never "met", welcome. Please comment if you wish. I'd like to get to know more about you as well.

Safe travels Flip. Thank you for the opportunity.

Oh and cheers, everyone!

Brad, the "Temp Flip"