Outcomes
As Hypoxic has reminded us, we have no right to complain about the outcome of an election in which we choose not to vote. If you or someone you know is not already registered to vote, please click here and go now to Hypoxic's website where he has thoughtfully provided voter registration information for all states.
Now we return to our irregularly scheduled programming.
Excerpts from the April 18 entry in Touchstones, A Book of Daily Meditations for Men:
We hear comments like, “Hang in there” “Don’t quit now,” “Don’t give up the ship!” When our outlook is gloomy and pessimistic, we should remember we are not in charge and we are not all-knowing. We cannot predict what will be around the next corner. If a difficult problem looms before us, we cannot be sure what help might also be there for us to meet the problem.When I could no longer stand the stress and uncertainty of the double life I chose to lead, I announced to my wife that I needed to move out and "try being gay." I was very sure that announcement would ensure an outcome. I was very wrong.
Our compulsion for control tempts us to quit and give ourselves over to defeat. Then the outcome would be settled and predictable. We no longer would have to live with the insecurity of not knowing the future…
…We aren’t in control of outcomes, but we can choose now to “hang in there” and to give our energy only to positive solutions.
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May I have the serenity to accept the process and the courage to be true to my part. Outcomes I will leave for the future.
I used to think that in all matters the outcome was the important thing. Results were all that mattered. The end justified the means. That thinking got me into a lot of trouble and hurt a lot of people around me. Now I know better.
On a good day, I do my best to manage my part, and my part only, of the process. That means trying my hardest to do the next right thing. On a bad day, I try to manage to an outcome. Or I choose not to do the next right thing even when I know what it is.
Contrast
Last week I spent about 30 minutes with a stranger. It was not right but it felt good.
Last night I had dinner with my wife, kids and dog. We laughed together like people who love and respect each other. It was right and it felt better than good.
I'm not in charge, but I'm going to hang in there.
5 comments:
It's good to feel good -- I see no contradiction at all.
Or as my sponsor says: we row, God steers.
I loved your "Contrast" section. It was a dose of balanced honesty. The distinction is that the person that you spent 30 mins with last week could probably care less about you or your situation. It was just a "hookup", even though it may have met a legitimate need. We all need to feel loved and cared for, and that is what your family (and your dog) is giving you. Don't throw away their love and support just because your "horny". Think before you act....this is probably the theme for today.
Oh, I think you did get an outcome when you told your wife you needed to "try being gay."
It certainly wasn't the one you expected, but an outcome nonetheless.
You've said yourself that the relationship between you and your wife has improved.
By the way, you don't have to "try being gay." That you are and always have been. Probably longer than you care to try to remember. You were just looking for a different environment to be gay in.
Hugs to you, my conflicted friend. You and your situation is an open file on the desk of my brain for some reason.
MöbMan:
Still pissed off.
But still in your court.
Hang in there.
the
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