God in a Happy Meal? Crazy.
I used to think it was really dumb when I heard people say things like "God is everywhere." What in the hell does that mean? Is he in my Happy Meal? Is he in Darfur? Doesn't seem that way. It just sounded ludicrous.
Well, I don't go around saying things like, "God is everywhere." But my feelings about that statement are very different now than ever before in my life.
Let me explain. I don't know what God is...to you or anyone else. But for today I have a small spark of the beginning of a smidgen of an inkling that I might be fixin' to have a slight idea of what God might be to me. Maybe just for today and definitely just for me. God is the serenity I feel at this moment. And God is the fact that I now pray for things. Not things like a new car. Things like the willingness to really really want my desire - my obsession - to have anonymous sex with other men to be taken away from me. Just the willingness. I'm not yet ready to pray that the obsession be removed. I'm just working on the willingness.
God is everywhere? Maybe. I don't know if I believe that. I do believe that God speaks to us in many ways and in many places. If we are listening. If we are willing to listen.
God is miracles. I used to think miracles were as likely as God in a Happy Meal. I thought miracles were planes spinning out of control suddenly guided to earth. Bullets stopped in mid-air. Superman stuff. I don't know about those kind of miracles. But I do know that people who are completely out of control, lower than low, broken, killing themselves in a cowardly, slow way can be restored to sanity. Not just restored to being OK, but given the ability to live the lives they always...and never...knew they wanted to, or could, live.
God speaks to me in AA meetings. I get messages from God when I sit in a prison listening to criminals. God talks to me on the subway as I watch people. I hear from God when somebody calls me and asks me for a ride to an AA meeting. God speaks to me through you, in your blogs. In your comments. In your presence. My God does.
It's crazy. But it's good crazy. And I now know I prefer good crazy to bad crazy.
Am I really writing this?
Good God!
Crazy.
Have a great day.
Flip
8 comments:
I find your new spiritual awakening to be fascinating.
Flip,
Organized religion has always been a big part of my life. Unfortunately I admit that I also have never really figured out the concept of God or Jesus. But I think you've found a truth that I do know:
God's grace is awesome and Faith is powerful.
-Paul
And as far as God being in a Happy Meal, why not? I've seen much less than God in stranger places. I apologize for obsessing about all of this, but maybe I'll achieve a higher degree of understanding of spirituallity through what you write here.
I had similar experiences. It felt like there was a very subtle nearly imperceptable conversation going on...things were being answered in the words of others or their actions...I found it to be strange coincidences though it didn't seem random but continuously occuring. I also liked being in that place so I'm happy for you too!
I've since come to believe (when I'm feeling spiritual that is) that there is God or some aspect of God in all of us...the people around us. Not sure about any happy meal, but living things perhaps too, like in nature...
Brad: It's certainly a very new thing to me. I'm not sharing my real thoughts with anyone except maybe a couple of AA friends and you guys. It is so out of character for me.
Paul: I guess maybe that's what I'm trying to say. It is a very new experience for me, but it does seem very powerful.
Kevin: Thanks. I'm not even sure I share my belief from moment to moment. And I think you know I'm not trying to convince anyone that they need to agree with me. As I said to Brad, I'm using my blog as a forum to share my ideas, etc. And I appreciate everyone's comments. They are more helpful to me than you can imagine.
As always, many thanks for the good wishes.
Brad: Don't apologize. I don't think you're obsessing. Your comments are a big help to me.
Bear: I think you have stated much more concisely and elegantly what I was trying to say I am observing. Coincidences, synchronicity, God? I don't know what it is or should be called. But I'm perceiving it in a different way.
Thanks again for all the comments.
Flip
Thanks for saying what I needed to hear today.
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