Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Flipped

I think I may have previously posted about this, or something like it. Or maybe someone else did. Either way it is very much on my mind right now.

When I was young, I had dreams of what I wanted to be when I grew up. What kind of career I wanted to have. What kind of man I wanted to be. What I wanted to accomplish during my time on earth. I tried to, at least somewhat, coordinate my actions with those dreams.

Somewhere in the past couple of decades it flipped. I started changing my dreams to align with, or more honestly, to justify my actions.

Dreams replaced by contrivances.

Now my brain is clearing. I’m growing up. Some of those old dreams are coming back…along with some new ones. Now some of my actions are aligned with those dreams. That needs to become more consistent, more natural. I believe I’m on course for that to happen.

I hope and pray I can stay on that course. I have faith it will be worth it.

F

3 comments:

Restored Vows said...

Interesting posting. Similar to what I wrote earlier this summer.

http://restoredvows.blogspot.com/2006/06/bostons-long-time.html

I've always had the dream of helping others. This dream has only become reality in the past year when I became a professional social worker. It makes me feel very accomplished when I am able to intervene on someone's behalf. Seeing change in someone is very rewarding.

Now if I could only take my own advice and change my own behaviors....that is the hard part. To take a hard look at yourself and your behaviors (hooking up when your married, anonymous sex, etc), and having no one to tell you to stop or that you are stupid for engaging in these behaviors.

You know how to contact me. I hope you follow-up for some mutual support.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like all that step work is paying off... I can think of no one more deserving of good things than you my friend...

Paul said...

There are two situations expressed here, both I find very positive. 1) Achieving your dreams -- even those sometimes unvoiced, and 2) learning to love what you have and being comfortable in your own skin.

Life is good.