Shame
Fallen
-Sarah McLachlan
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight
Is there an answer? I haven't found it. Surrender, ignore, compartmentalize, suppress, start over, focus on self, focus on others. Hope. Analyze. Pray. False starts, not answers.
Truth be told
I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear
Truth be told. Ha! Tried my best? I guess so. Not really. Tried. Trying. My best? Doesn't feel like it. The cost? It’s been high. Could be, may be, much higher.
Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...
I've fallen...done what for so long seemed abhorrent, unthinkable. Continue to.
Sunk
so
low.
We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
The past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
In the lonely light of morning
In the wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
That I've held so dear.
We all begin with good intent? Yes.
Love was raw and young? Yes.
We believed that we could change ourselves, the past could be undone. It seemed so possible, and there was so little to be undone.
But we carry on our backs the burden time always reveals, in the lonely light of morning, in the wound that would not heal. The unrevealed burdens of youth. Did we notice them? What did we think they were?
It's the bitter taste of losing everything that I’ve held so dear. I still don’t know all I’ve lost, and I've made some gains along the way. But I do know I came close to losing everything I’ve held dear, and it seems I’m still working on that.
I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...
Heaven bend to take my hand
Nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turn their heads embarrassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one missed step
One slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed
I've fallen, but I'm not lost to my friends. They don't know how far I've fallen...continue to fall. Maybe one more slip...
Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...
Thanks. I'll call you back when the pity party is over.
F
5 comments:
Okay Flip, now you are scaring me. I did a post last night which blogspot crashed on so this afternoon I re-did the post: a post built around a song. Sound familiar. Then I come 'round here and discover you were doing the same thing at the same time.
Thank god the song was different though the song I did was one you "gave" me.
Like I said, too, too scary.
OK Flipster... lets go back to AA 101 - maybe meeing #2 or #3... someone said to you, "you have never knowing made a bad decision - all of your decisions you made were the best you could make at the time given where you were."
"Truth be told. Ha! Tried my best? I guess so. Not really. Tried. Trying. My best? Doesn't feel like it."
You did you best with what you had at the time to do it with... I have NO PROBLEM with critical self-examination, but I will not let a good friend of mine perform self abuse on himself...
Ease up on yourself Sparky... I see an excellent job, a willing wife, good friends, (well at least Brad and Nate fall in that category! LOL)... things could be a LOT WORSE than they are now - so your decisions and your attempts have not been that bad...
You know... stikin thinking works on yourself also...
”Music has been my closest friend, my fiercest foe
'cause it can take you so high; yes, it can take you so low.”
- another of my favorite lines from Let Time Go Lightly by Steven Chapin/Harry Chapin
Why is it that we often find lyrics so compelling that we can’t ignore them?
However, with all the good you do – let’s not keep this pity party going too long! A lot of us are counting on you.
I have recovered from the coincidence and had proper time to read the post and song.
Listen to Spider - enough self-punishment (as if I am one to talk).
The concept of carrying - baggage, burdens, each other. It is a poweful concept and one needs broad shoulders. I suspect you are up to the task.
But we carry on our backs the burden time always reveals, in the lonely light of morning, in the wound that would not heal
iTunes should send you a thank you note.
It is a very beautiful song.
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