Oppressed By Whom?
Just when I'm tempted to indulge in a little self pity....poor me, little boy born queer, misunderstood, hiding, ashamed, taunted, hated...so much to overcome...I do my daily "recovery reading" and come across this in Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men: January 12 I should be content to look at a mountain for what it is and not as a comment on my life.
- David Ignatow
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We have recognized our self-centeredness as addicts and codependents. On the other side is the feeling of peace and well-being when we are released from it. Self-centeredness caused us to take everything personally. We were hypersensitive to our surroundings, to other people, and how they reacted. Yet, so often these things had very little to do with us. God sends rain for the just and the unjust.
When we can look at a mountain and lose ourselves in the sight, we are refreshed spiritually. But no mountain is necessary for this experience. When we listen to a friend and simply hear his perspective, when we pet a dog and just enjoy this loving creature, when we look at a sunset and drink it in for what it is – then we are growing.
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God grant me release from the oppression of my ego.
Or as it says in the Third Step prayer (Alcoholics Anonymous p. 63), “Relieve me of the bondage of self…”
Yep. Another paradox. I find my self, find my freedom, by focusing on you.
I can’t be reminded of this often enough.
Peace.
Flip
7 comments:
Flip -
Touchstones is some good stuff. And what a great tribute to blogging: When we listen to a friend and simply hear his perspective ... then we are growing.
I'm just glad that you read it daily and bring us the highlights.
Oh Flip - you always seem to give me just what I need when I need it... this one is going up on the board by my desk at work so I can read it over and over...
"when we look at a sunset and drink it in for what it is – then we are growing." Not sure I have done a lot of growing lately, but I know I need to...
Thank you so much for this Flip - if you don't mind, I am going to "borrow" some of this for the "the web"...
Nice post...thanks for the inspiration. I think we all (except of maybe Mother Theresa or Ghandi) get caught up in our own little egos.
I'm sorry. Being aware of homophobia, which drives countless gay people to self hate and even to suicide, is not being caught up in one's own ego.
Self pity is, of course, obnoxious and counter productive, but being aware of what we all are confronted with as gay people is as least as important for our growth as looking a t a sunset.
i'm going out to get that book for my hubby!!! just so i can highlight that passage... lol... and i'm adding you to my links...
I think I understand. It's double-sided. We need to recognize true obstacles for what they are, while always trying to be aware if we are reading to much into any given thing.
So, sometimes an hurdle may be quite real and directly connected with who we are. But others may simply exist for reasons that have nothing to do with us - they would exists even if you did not, and have nothing to do with prejudices against you or a group to which you belong.
I try to sort out which is which on a daily basis. It's tough, but I've found it gets a little more routine as i do it more.
Thanks everyone for your comments.
Just to clarify, in no way was this post meant to minimize the oppression that gays have been and continue to be subjected to. I'm way too self-centered for that. The post was all about ME!
I was simply trying to relate the reading to my own life, my own self-centeredness and my belief that the more I can focus on others both through service work and in my day-to-day existence, the more I can grow (up!).
The reason I used the "poor little boy" example is because it is very alluring to me to be drawn into self-pity through that door - the (exaggerated in my case) memories of being criticized and beaten down for something over which I had no control. I can't change that now. But I can learn from it and grow (and perhaps even help eradicate similar treatment of others) by trying to focus on the future and the few things over which I have control - like my actions and my choices.
Apologies to anyone I might have offended.
Thanks!
Flip
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