Cop Out
Wow, talk about having your bubble burst.
Brad's assessment of the current state of my life (commenting on my last post):"Just to go to meetings to deny that you are bisexual or homosexual to assure yourself that it is something that can be treated as an addiction seems like a bit of a cop out to me."
I appreciate comments on this blog - especially those that are the hardest to hear.
Coming from the reader who I believe knows me best, this one makes it crystal clear I have done a piss-poor job of communicating my thoughts, my decisions and my journey. So much so that this blog is likely a real danger to those I had deluded myself into thinking might find some hope here.
I don't know how else to say it. I am not denying my bisexuality / homosexuality. I am not trying to treat or alter that core part of my being. I am trying to deal with "life on life's terms" - some of which were dealt to me and some of which I have created through my own decisions.
I am trying to treat / alter my obsessive and harmful behavior - which I personally believe is not a direct result of my sexual orientation. (I'm the only admittedly non-straight guy I've encountered so far in SAA).
What I've learned: a blog is no substitute for a pair of moccasins and a mile-long track.
Bye.
F
2 comments:
I need to respectfully disagree with Brad about the premise of his argument. I think he has missed the point. This isn't about you being bisexual or even homosexual and going to meetings so you can be "cured". It's about how your pursuit of the next sexual encounter has become compulsive or obsessive and it has engendered some self-destructive tendencies. That's not a cop out. That's taking a proactive approach to dealing with an area of your life that's causing you difficulty.
I haven't commented much, but I have been reading your latest posts with a great deal of interest. I admire your willingness to share your experiences because I think it CAN help others. I hope you continue to do so and, as always, wish you only the best on your journey.
Cymber, as a postscript, Flip and I had a long, meaningful chat the next day. I clarified my thinking, as did he.
My final opinion was if it works, do it.
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