Progress
During last weeks' trip out of town, late one night in my hotel room when I was feeling a bit lonely and sorry for myself, I sent my Flip-side, Brad over at Southern Expressions (I assume you all visit his porch regularly - if you don't, you should) an email. I'm hoping he doesn't mind if I quote a bit of what I wrote. I was really surprised how it tied in with the passage for yesterday in Touchstones, A Daily Meditation for Men .
Please forgive me for once again quoting from that book. I'm going to have to start paying royalties I quote from it so much, but it often really speaks to me.
Here's the June 3 Touchstones reading:
Almost anything you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that
you do it.
- Mohandas Ghandi
Looking back at yesterday, looking at today, what sense do we have of progress in our growth? Probably nothing very significant. Sometimes it is amazing how little a person can accomplish in a day's efforts. Yet, what alternative do we have? Only that we could do nothing. Or worse, we could return to our old ways.
Ghandi, one of the greatest spiritual leaders of our century, said he felt that almost anything one can do will be insignificant. Yet to do something is very important. Each day, each chance is small but takes us in a direction. When we look back over the last month or last year, we may see that only remaining faithful to our program, one day at a time, has carried us a very long way. The kind of person we each become is just as important as what we accomplish in the world around us.
May I learn to have patience with the insignificant moments in the
present. They are very important indeed.
And here's a slightly edited excerpt from my email:
...I've really calmed down a lot since my last visit here when I acted outI am truly grateful for the gift of sobriety I have been given, and by the patience and love shown by those around me as I make progress.
sexually. I think going to meetings every day and calling my sponsor every
day have helped. I've had some real cravings for a drink in the past
week. That's something I have rarely had over the past year and it has
really gotten my attention. Last night I went to an 11PM meeting here
in [Gotham City] - one that I went to a lot two years ago when I spent most of every week up here and I was first getting sober. I would stay up really late every night wandering around town instead of staying in my hotel room where my pattern for years was to drink until I passed out. Anyway, it's a really neat AA group because of the
diversity - late at night in a not necessarily good part of town. I really
enjoy those meetings because it is all about recovery. As I sat
there last night it was good for me to remember how utterly lost and
defeated I felt two years ago. I did not see any solution for the mess I
had made of my life. Often the only time I felt any peace was in
those meetings...
Hope you are having a great day.
Flip
7 comments:
As a social worker filling the role as a substance abuse counselor, it brings me great job satisfaction when someone is successful in their recovery efforts. This applies to my online friends as well.
I know that the "Big Book" uses the term "recovered". I have my own personal take on this. This book was written in 1939, and there has been alot of addiction research conducted since that time. Recovered with the -ed ending is past tense....as in you have your alcohol addiction beat. I prefer to use the terms "recovery" or "recovering" as these are ongoing processes.
Using a Biblical analogy, sometimes we need to build an altar. An altar may be viewed as a reminder of a victory or some sense of divine deliverance. Your altar could be how far you have progressed since the last visit to that city without drinking. A victory of sorts. No one with any common sense would say that the journey that you are on is an easy one. Author M Scott Peck wrote a book about the "Road Less Traveled"....while you are walking along your path of recovery alone, there are several thousands of people who are walking on this "road" with you. Just for today!
When you post, we will read. When not, you are still with us.
I have e-mailed you, but I want to share the comment openly. As my 20 year old son enters a detox program tomorrow morning I look at what you have done over the past two years and all you have written and it gives me a hope I would otherwise lack. Thanks
The AA is clearly a lifetime involvement and I guess the bad news is that being bi and being in love with our wives and families is also a lifetime struggle and on some level just knowing and accepting that makes it a little better and while the blog may not quite rise to the direct contact of AA meetings I suspect our interactions in this "world" are closer to those meetings than I realized at first.
(can you spell run on sentance)
Nate
Am I detecting a little peace in your life? There's something a little bit hopeful in this post.
I agree Brad - sounds like we are reaching a well deserved time of calm and peace...
btw Flip, LOVE the new profile pic!
Restored: Thanks for your good observations. I am not a "Big Book" scholar, but I have never heard anyone in AA claim to be recovered, and I think anyone who did might be gently reminded that we have nothing more than a one day reprieve.
Nate: I hope your son is doing better. This is a vicious disease. It absolutely kills people. I pray that he will get better soon. He is very lucky to have such a concerned father.
Brad: Yes, the pendulum has swung. I'm enjoying it. Thanks for caring.
Brother Spider (I feel like St. Francis): Thanks to you and everyone else for being there through storms and peace. And thanks for noticing the new picture.
Your site is on top of my favourites - Great work I like it.
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Your site is on top of my favourites - Great work I like it.
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