Why

To Love Is To Bury
- Margo and Michael Timmons of The Cowboy Junkies

I buried him down by the river
'cause that's where he liked to be
and every night when the moon is high
I go there and weep openly

He and I were married
By this river 'neath this willow tree
and with God and friends witnessing it
He pledged his life to me

To me he was Earth
and I rooted in his soil
I to he was Sky vast and free
of the burdens from which he toiled

Then one night a terrible fight
Words spoken better left unsaid
With his wedding vows ringing in my ears
He gave his life to me

They say to love is to bury
Those demons from which we all hide
But tonight by this river 'neath this willow tree
Becoming one of Earth and Sky.

Why do I love this song? Love it possibly more than any other song I have ever heard?

Thinking of the title has always conjured a weird, excited, confused, uncomfortable feeling in me. Like the looking-down-from-the-very-top-of-the-biggest-hill-on the-rollercoaster feeling mixed with the losing-my-stomach feeling as we plunge down the hill. The way I feel when tryng to understand things which are for me paradoxical, such as Mobius strips. In fact the feeling reminds me of the feeling of that first supremely magically horrifying orgasm...when playing in the bathtub changed from being about rubber duckies to…..well you get the picture. I digress. Or maybe not.

When I was considering a blog of my own, one title I considered was, “To Love is to Bury.”

I do not understand Mobius strips. I realize they can be defined mathematically (cue friend Troll), which brings me no comfort whatsoever. I realize I can be defined chemically and physically, which brings me no comfort whatsoever. Simultaneous with my discomfort is a warm, enveloping comfort brought by that weird, excited feeling.

I have no faith that I will ever understand a Mobius strip. I may one day understand the mathematics. But I don’t think that weird dis(comfort) excitement confusion will go away. I hope it won’t. Except for those times I think I will absolutely die if it does not go away immediately.

What is love? I don’t know.

Although I don’t understand exactly what it means, I believe with all my heart and soul that to love is to bury those demons from which we all hide.

I love you

Flip